I finished the rehearsal schedule, huzzah! Scheduling is the bane of my existence. Things always get messed up, I always mess things up, and then you get the inevitable "but I didn't see that on the schedule!" bullshit. It makes me wonder if I'm cut out for being a Stage Manager.
I've been thinking about that a lot. What is it about stage managing that I like, and what about it do I... dislike. I love the sense of community. It's easy when you're a tech to feel isolated from everyone else. The actors bond, and you're on the outskirts of that. As a stage manager you get an "in" to that little world. Maybe because most of my friends through undergrad were actors, that's why I jumped at a chance to be as close to that group as possible. So maybe that's what I like about it. But I hate scheduling, I am the biggest ball of stress in the world- so from tech on I'm a mess. But I love those moments after the curtain comes down. The feeling of victory. But... I don't know. It's difficult to be in that role because you aren't part of the creative team. Something about that really bothers me. And they call the actors "talent." Yes, they're talented at what they do, but so are the 20 other people working on a show. It's just bizarre. There are the people who have seen my writing (not many) and the people who have seen me in a tech role, and they're so different- sometimes I don't think people reconcile the two. I know I don't.
So I wonder if this is what I want to do, or if it's just some attempt to feel part of a community or a group- because Lord knows, I don't have other friends here and I so often have felt on the outskirts of friendship. And at the same time, I don't know how I would function in a "traditional" career. I don't know, it's something I need to think about. Watching Into the Wild doesn't help, it just makes me want to drop out of everything and live in a cave in the Pacific Northwest (sorry, no way am I going to Alaska.)
New Topic.
I had my interview last night for UCLA and it was, in a word, awkward. They couldn't figure out how to work the video camera. But they liked my play, don't ask me why. Rereading it I've decided the thing is total crap, mostly because it's already 2 hours and I barely even go into the characters. Or I judge myself too harshly, I'm not sure.
Anyway, it was nice to get the feedback. They liked that Christopher was dead and still interacted with the other characters, they liked the pacing, they liked the dialogue. They said that they were surprised a 23 year old had such a grasp on the time period and the emotions involved with the Vietnam War. It's not really a Vietnam piece, but the war is there, so I guess that's what they were getting at. They mentioned how they felt dated since this is a "historical piece," and I had to interrupt them (with their permission, of course) and tell them that I didn't consider it a historical piece. Events are cyclical, there are moments and quotes, when researching the play, that I felt could be put into the mouths of people or found in newspapers today. I tried to draw parallels, perhaps unsuccessfully, but they're there.
Anyway, I also found out that one of the teachers knows a friend from high school- once again proving how small the world is.
I rambled, went on tangents, corrected myself and fussed with my hair too much- but whatever. I've gotten into several schools (most recent of which is CalArts) so it's not that big of a deal. And I still have 6 more schools to hear from.
This update is boring, probably because I haven't done anything exciting as of late, but what can you do.
Here are some pictures to make up for that:
are you a delinquent?
Stephen, Bernadette, Mandy. Need I say more?
My new desktop.
I need more street art in my life.
I'm having trouble with #3
Ok, that's it. Perhaps tomorrow I'll go to the Met. I meant to do that today but couldn't muster up the energy. So I'll just get something to eat, work on the play, and perhaps marathon some Six Feet Under. Who knows.
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