A random collection of thoughts

I had my interview with the Diverse Theater Company today. I'm excited to work with them. The Artistic Director is originally from the Bay Area, and the festival I will be working on is modeled after Sam Mendes' Bridge Project. The interview was supposed to only be an hour but ultimately ended up 4 1/2 hours long, with lunch, a meeting with the Production Manager, and an interview with a potential stage manager.

I'm just happy that I'm more in a Producing role for this. I haven't really had that experience outside of CBTP, and even that it was so haphazard I would only loosely call it experience. Plus, at this point, if I see another rehearsal schedule that I have to figure out I might be forced to kill someone.

Tomorrow I have to go in to learn about the sound and light board. To say that I'm not looking forward to it would be the understatement of a lifetime. I don't know why I'm so unenthusiastic- I think it's just because I haven't done it before so I'm anxious. I've made cue lists, I've run the projector, I'm familiar with the material- it's just a matter of becoming familiar with the board, right? But the damn thing has so many buttons and switches that it freaks me out. And I have to engage in mild subterfuge just to learn the damn thing because we're not using the normal light/sound board operator. I don't know why we can't use her, I'd rather use her and be back stage making sure the actors are doing their jobs... but no. Basically, I'll be in the booth and no one will be backstage, setting or making sure people don't miss their cue. Now that makes me anxious.

I am so amazingly tired. But at least it will be nice this weekend, I wish I had people to fritter about in the park with.

On the bright side, I think I'm coming home from July 26ish to August 18th or 19th. I can't wait to come home. I miss the Bay Area. Or maybe I miss friends and family. I'm not sure. I want to go camping, I want to go to Santa Cruz and San Francisco. I want to see everybody. I can't wait. I'm a bit sad that I'm missing Michael and Christine's 16th birthday, or that I'll be here for my birthday. But I don't mind that as much. I'm ambivalent towards my birthday, especially the concept of turning 24. No thank you.

I have done nothing of interest as of late.

Well, I did see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

It was surprisingly good, I was impressed with the adaptation and how true to form they kept it. I definitely can't wait to see the next too (or read the last book in the trilogy. My roommate's going to try and snag a copy from her coworker who works for Vintage).

Other than that, I have a meeting on Wednesday and a meeting on Thursday. Other than that, I'm just chilling. I'm totally over the current show that I'm working on, and want to start the next show. I just have to make it through April.

And I'm still torn between The New School and NYU. I mean, I'll probably go to NYU because their dramatic writing program is amazing and I can focus on both screenwriting and playwriting. But, I don't know... Gah.

I also really hope that I can get a job as a research assistant or something when I start school. And I want it to be sunny and warm so that I can go out and waste time outside without spending money. Or... you know... make friends or something. That'd be awesome.

I hope The Importance of Being Earnest went well. I want pictures, but Shruti texted me a picture that said special thanks to the other Katie and I. That made me happy, though I wish I could have worked on it more.

I'm just throwing it out there that I've been relatively productive before noon.
I've bought 5 roles of different gaffers tape, that should arrive sometime next week. I need to test it out for the set. I picked up my laundry, showered and got completely ready to set out into the world. I emailed my costume designer and the Artistic Director. I did something else, but I can't remember at the moment.

I still need to run to the East Village and check out body paint for the show, then go midtown and see if I can measure the theatre space. Then I need to come back an email the cast to remind them to memorize their lines, email the director with the theatre specs (because I missed a few measurements last week), call Joan to learn the light board, call two other people who's names were rec'd to me... and do something else, I can't remember.


And Earnest is opening tonight! I wish I was there to see the show and help out! I'm so sad that I couldn't be more involved, but I'm rooting for y'all. And who knows, maybe in awhile, I'll have something written that y'all can perform. That is unless my master plan of slowly but surely getting all my friends to move to the East Coast comes true. Hayley- check. Scotty's here- check. Loretta (you know since your brother is here, you want to move too)- in process. Rachel- in process. Shruti- one day (and she's a step closer, congrats!) Greg- you know you want to. The Public is calling you...

Now if only my family were here as well.

Okay, off to be productive. Lord knows I haven't done anything all week.

I love this song:



On an entirely different topic:
I've barely left the apartment all day. At around noon, I was tricked into thinking it was going to rain. So I ran out and got all my errands (read: spending money that I don't have) done. Got back, sat down and made lunch, only to realize it's getting sunny again. Well, now that I'm back in I have things to do, so I can't just go fritter away the day now can I. Well, I can, but I really should be productive.

I did manage to get ahold of the Artistic Director for The Diverse City Theater Company. They're off off broadway, but not like the current place I'm working. The AD is from the Bay Area, and I can already tell he has that Northern Californian way about him. Am I speaking nonsense? probably. But he seems really friendly, and says he wants to call me Kathryn because it sounds so British, like I should be drinking tea or something. He also has a close friend who went to Santa Clara and the year after she graduated, went straight to Broadway. Note to self: find out who that is.

I'm about a step away from getting this internship, and I'm meeting with the guy next week. If I get it, it's from May- July 23rd. They're doing a playwright's festival that I would help with the production, marketing, and design of. And I'd get a stipend! a small stipend, but a stipend none the less.

I just really liked that he didn't seem like a complete crazy pants. So cross your fingers. Besides that, I'm still glowing over Tisch and trying to figure out what I'm going to do. I think ultimately, I want to be able to write and perhaps be in more of the marketing/preproduction/producing side of things. It's more stable, but I'm not sure. I can't say, just because I think this current experience is messing with my brain. I just need to survive it, and that's only 6 weeks (and one of those weeks is off). And maybe what I really want to do is teach playwriting, dramaturgy, theatre history. I know I want to get my PhD eventually.

And I need to find a job

Yesterday
...consisted of me waiting about for the Set Designer to show up at the Theatre. He was late by 45 minutes so I had to sit outside with the AD who conveniently disappeared 5 minutes before the set designer showed up. We sat around for another half an hour.

And then the set designer had the will to live beaten out of him. I tried to prepare him for the meeting, but he didn't listen. Two hours later... I got a series of more than interesting texts.

Whatever.
I walked over to Times Square where our Set Designer had built a Viking Ship for that new Viking/Dragon 3D movie.

Vikings In Times Square!

Today
Woke up at 6 am to get uptown by 8:15. I was meeting a friend of my grandfather's at The Regency- or as I was informed "The Place where THE POWER BREAKFAST was created." Let's just say that I was the youngest and most underdressed person there, despite wearing a dress and actually doing my hair. I looked out of place, everyone was in suits and they all stared at me like I was an animal at the zoo. Anyway, met with Ralph. He's the nicest guy, I wish this were 10 years ago because then I'd have had the possibility of actually getting a position as an intern. Got a few contacts, met some guy who works at a Multimedia Company who's like 80 feet tall, and then walked from 63rd to 44th and 8th and took the subway back.
From about 12-4 I zoned. I'm not sure why I'm exhausted or why I couldn't stomach the energy to just go outside again, but I couldn't. So I ate some pringles and frittered about online until I

FOUND OUT THAT I GOT INTO TISCH. THAT'S RIGHT, NYU:TISCH DRAMATIC WRITING GRADUATE PROGRAM FOR THEATRE, TELEVISION, AND FILM.

Now
After months searching for an illegal perfectly legal copy of Photoshop and Image Ready, I finally found one... Only to accidentally delete the file. Now it is nowhere to be seen, having disappeared into the computer ether.
I'm slightly annoyed.

I'm not particularly exciting. I also have all this stuff I need to do, but I just can't be bothered to do any of it. So now I'm going to go back to watching episode 1 of LOST.
Smoke Monster! Polar Bears! Jack crying, Oh My!

This is the actual video:



And this is what my sister sent me

Watch for a minute, then skip to the end.


On another note, I woke up at 7 because I was supposed to have a meeting at 9:30 midtown with the set designer. When I woke up and checked my ~business email (aka "if Katie doesn't compartmentalize, she will go Dexter all over everybody) I had 3 new emails, all from the guy, giving an update at 2 am, 5 am, and then a minute before asking if we could move the meeting later (and then to tomorrow). The 5 am email also included the phase "fuuuuuuu"

Anyway, I said it was fine, and I got an "OMG Thank you!" email response (evidently he's the incredibly flamboyant man version of me). But now I have a lot of time on my hands. What to do, what to do.


P.S. Healthcare reform? Step forward. But until I stop getting rejected because of anti anxiety meds I took for 9 months over a year ago AND women are no longer considered "prepregnant" I'm going to remain in a bad mood and just waltz on over to the free clinic down the street whenever I have a problem. Because Lord knows the Republicans and Democrats are acting more like 5 year olds than rational human beings. Still, step in the right direction. Now can we have gay marriage, immigration reform, a break on monopolies in both food and drug, or is that just asking too much? (I know, I know, that'd be asking for a utopian America. I should just move to the Antartica and call it a day)

New Yorkers have gone crazy. The first day of spring and it's sunny and warm outside and what seems to be an infinite number of people have tumbled out onto the streets. Both Washington Square Park and Union Square have been overrun. It's wonderful.

I was finally able to drop off my bios today. Someone's been lying and telling the Artistic Director that I'm doing a good job. I helped him write a strongly worded email, which also put me in his good graces, and told him that we may have found a set designer for him. As I left, I saw some of the new Hair Tribe waltzing in for a matinee performance.

Wandered from 45th street to 39th along 8th Ave and headed over to the Hell's Kitchen Antique Fair. It's damn nice. I got a blanket, purse, pair of sunglasses and 3 bracelets for $30 bucks. That's got to count for something.

I would buy something that ugly. But I love it... Just need to wash it.

Headed back to Broadway and walked to 15th Street/Union Square where a massive farmer's market is held everyday. After sitting on the corner and talking for 45 minutes I wandered through. They have a lot of wine stalls, needed more food markets that aren't related to hot dogs or cheese though.



When I hit Washington Square it looked like a beach party had broken out. Everywhere you looked were people sunbathing, guys playing hackey sack, artists, kids eating popsicles, and dogs running about.

Tomorrow, after I go to the Brooklyn Flea- and if I can find a place, I'm going to go there and do some writing... Or sleep. Right off of 6th there is another flea market, smaller and a lot crappier, but it has a few good things. Except empanadas. I bought one there and a) it was $4 b) it was completely fried and c) tasted like shit.

I'm sorry, but whoever told them that was what an empanada is supposed to taste like, well they were horribly horribly wrong.
Then I ran to the store because I broke out in hives and ended up spending $50 on food, toilet paper, and Mexican beer. Because that's how you know it's springtime.

All in all I was wandering about in the sun for 4 1/2 hours and I am sunburned. Rats, that's what I forgot. Sunscreen. Tomorrow I'm going to try out the Brooklyn Flea, than hopefully the park. Later this week I want to see Girl with a Dragon Tattoo that's playing limited release in two theatres nearby. the only downside? $12 for a ticket, with no matinee or student discount. What is this nonsense?


Let's see how long before I kill this one.

I broke out in hives, and the Benadryl is starting to kick in, so I'm going to sign off.
Peace out, homeslices.

It's sad that Reality Bites is still so applicable to today. Just make the average postgrad even grumpier. 15 years later...

I've been marathoning movies for the last 4 hours, which is what any normal 23 year old living in New York City and with no discernable friends does with her Friday night. As you can tell, I'm really exciting.

Maybe I should do some research. Or figure out how to get rid of these bios. I'm dwelling on them like a heroin addict itching for their next fix. This is a problem. I should figure out how to deal with that.

I JUST WANT TO DROP OFF THESE BIOS AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT HANGING OVER MY HEAD FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. GOD DAMN.


I walked 50 blocks back along 5th Avenue and am now making lunch and watching The Graduate

I've even accomplished some shit today. Thank God.

So you know how I'm continually questioning whether I want to work in theatre or not?
Yeah, still questioning.
However, I might have a meeting with an Artistic Director of another theatre company (off off broadway, but seems better run than the one I'm currently working on), as well as a member of Nederlander- a major producing company in NY and LA.

Oh and I might be meeting my grandpa's friend who's up on Monday/Tuesday for Stephen Sondheim's birthday.
Excuse me while I fangirl all over the place.


On another note, I went to my theatre today and waited around for 2 1/2 hours, hoping to get into the theatre and get some measurements (and drop off the bios that were due two weeks ago), and no dice. So I'm going to try and go back later this afternoon, but I have to wait for my lamp to get dropped off.



So by tomorrow evening I need to:

[ ] drop off Bios (STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO. I'M GETTING NERVOUS)
[x] get dimensions of theatre space
[x] Find massive amounts of Kelly Green gaffers tape (more difficult than you'd think) now i just have to order
[x] Find relatively cheap orange face paint that doesn't look gross (more MAC less backyard clown) also more difficult than you'd think need to go to makeup mania on the lower east side)
[x] 9:30 am Friday meeting with set designer in Brooklyn
[x] type up costume chart and notes and send to costume designer
[x] email Demetrius/actor to send images of his black clothing to costume designer
[x] update and send out revised schedule en masse
[ ] contact Joan about learning light board/sound board (I have to do that sometime during the next week, but not looking forward to it)

I'd also like to do this asap (most of this by tomorrow evening, but who knows):
[x] call back Blue Shield
[x] email Nancy
[ ] figure out what happens when you put the wrong address down on a package that needs a signature/ where it goes
[x] call Martha and other dude
[x] email back Ralph Guild
[ ] set up appointment to meet with Martha, other dude, and Ralph (separately)
[ ] edit play/make corrections (during the next week)
[ ] research for play
[ ] begin to transfer play to novel (lofty goals, probably won't happen until after the show closes)
[ ] clean apartment
[ ] buy toilet paper
[ ] laundry
[ ] get my butt to the free clinic, finally.
[ ] call up old dr's office and get referrals


*GO SEE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO! IT'S PLAYING AT TWO THEATRES NEAR ME, HUZZAH. Little victories.
And I need to start meditating, or something.

P.S. I need this room in my life:


I want to go to the Beach


And I wish I hadn't left this book at home

Strike that, if I can make it until Friday evening I'll be happy.

I just need to make it until 4 pm tomorrow.
Let's ignore my 9:30 meeting in Brooklyn on Friday.

I've been perusing the MFA Blog and it's interesting that so many people have been rejected across the board. I've had my share of rejections, am still waiting on more than half the schools, as well as acceptances to several including two of my top choices. I didn't think my writing was all that great, but I didn't think it was horrid. To be honest, it seems pretty consistent with a 23 year old who has limited life experiences. I don't know if I'm shortchanging myself or what. I'm guaranteed to go into a graduate program and get bombarded with my failures- which is fine and what I expect... But so many people seem to jump the gun with perceptions of their own fantastic writing skills. I don't think bragging about how you wrote a short story with only two drafts proves that you are the next Hemingway or Salinger. And then freaking out because you got a resounding "no!" from Iowa, Illinois, and all those other big names (which I didn't even apply to), is really not all that surprising. Of course, I have 7 drafts of everything because I can't edit for my life. My posts are proof enough of that.

When I had my interview for Tisch, the director asked why I hadn't had any of my work produced by our group. I told him honestly, that my writing style didn't mesh with the other writers in the group, and as most of the shows we did were one acts and scene based, some sense of consistency was important.

I also didn't think I was any good, so all of my applications were based on the idea that I would be rejected by all schools and then come August I'd be up a creek (Now, I have two years until I have to worry about that).

tl;dr
I want to be one of those people with a maddeningly inflated ego and sense of self-worth. I want to be the person with unwavering self confidence. That would be ridiculously awesome.

This brightened up an otherwise dull day.

Well, that and THIS
Not to mention, it's only 1 degree warmer back home than it is here.

And I potentially have something to do on St. Patty's Day! I do not, however, own any green.

I just got back from seeing a staged reading of a German play from some dude who was obsessed with Brecht.

Let's just say that it consisted of 3 hours of one guy sitting in a chair and talking about how much he hated Interlocken, the placement of the chairs in the room, and knitting.
Oh and noodles, don't forget noodles. But the directing, set, and lighting were actually really good. It's just the content. After a while it breaks you down.

I also met the people who are doing our lights and sounds for the show. When leaving I ran into the director and gave her a hug goodbye and totally turned and hugged the hapless lighting dude. He put out his hand and I was all "I've been hugging people all day, one for you too-" God I'm weird. But anyone from freshman year of undergrad can vouch that I used to walk around with a 6 foot personal bubble. And now personal space is a novel concept. I don't even know.

Afterwards I got all turned around and decided to re-orientate myself by walking to Times Square


On a Monday night in March it was so empty. Every other time I've been there it's been crazy packed. Which is why I stick to 8th Ave whenever I'm going to rehearsal or a show.

Oh and when I was walking in TS some random Japanese tourist took my photo. Straight on, deer in the headlights, me staring into the depths of the camera- photo.

***

I got into City College but didn't get into Hunter. Out of all the CUNY schools, Hunter was what I wanted to go to the most, but that still didn't compare to NYU, The New School or Columbia. So far, The New School is where I'm going to be for the next two years, but I'm still waiting on 5 more.


***
I was supposed to have rehearsal for 6 hours tomorrow, but because one of our leads fucked up his schedule, we're cutting it by 3 hours. Hopefully he'll feel guilty tomorrow. I had a fantastic rehearsal with the Mechanicals today. I love the guy who plays Bottom. He has a 3 year old daughter and loves to enter and leave rooms speaking in random languages, and then gets really enthusiastic when someone can speak with him in said language. Our other mechanicals are hilarious as well. One girl is from the East Bay, so we bonded about missing nature and open spaces. Then we all bonded over Avatar (which I still haven't seen), Alice in Wonderland (also haven't seen), and midnight showings of Pineapple Express (totally been there, done that). It was good times. So today was a "Katie actually likes theatre" Day.

***
Oh and I just found out that Eddie Redmayne and Alfred Molina are going to be in a 15 week run of Red starting April 1st. So I'll definitely be checking that out. In the next two weeks I'm going to try and see God of Carnage and The Pride. I also want to see the new cast of HAIR but they're not going anywhere and I want to take my hippie roommate to see them on the lottery tickets.

***
AND WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS ANDREW BIRD.


OR THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS



THE END.

P.S. I'm going to find the bagpiper that likes to bagpipe at 11 pm every god damn day and strangle him with his bagpipes.

New York University's Tisch School just sideswiped me with a Sunday evening interview.

I got out of the shower and there was a missed call. Deciding to call back without checking my voicemail, I learned it to be the Dean of Admissions direct line.

So I just gave an interview in my silk Hugh Hefner bathrobe. I hope I get in. Phone interviews are awkward.

I also spent way too much money this afternoon. And I still need to buy a floor cushion for my room.

I was going to go to the Brooklyn Flea, but considering it's starting to look like The Day After Tomorrow outside (we have sun! But I'm suspicious, I think we're in the eye of the storm) I might just hover about here. I want to get one of those Pier 1 Basket chairs and go rummage through the Anthropologie and H&M sales since I'm severely lacking in socks and tshirts.

And perhaps I'll write. I keep meaning to do that, but then I get sidetracked by the internet, cleaning, staring at blank walls...

I'll leave you with two photos:


Look at those hippies at the GLAAD awards.


I really want to get a copy of this poster. It's from the Northern California Folk Festival at the Santa Clara Fairgrounds. Unfortunately for me, every copy is selling between $600 and $1000. I'm sorry, but I don't want the damned thing that much. Well, I do, but I also don't have that much of a disposable income.

This one's for Greg, because I haven't updated recently.

I finished the rehearsal schedule, huzzah! Scheduling is the bane of my existence. Things always get messed up, I always mess things up, and then you get the inevitable "but I didn't see that on the schedule!" bullshit. It makes me wonder if I'm cut out for being a Stage Manager.

I've been thinking about that a lot. What is it about stage managing that I like, and what about it do I... dislike. I love the sense of community. It's easy when you're a tech to feel isolated from everyone else. The actors bond, and you're on the outskirts of that. As a stage manager you get an "in" to that little world. Maybe because most of my friends through undergrad were actors, that's why I jumped at a chance to be as close to that group as possible. So maybe that's what I like about it. But I hate scheduling, I am the biggest ball of stress in the world- so from tech on I'm a mess. But I love those moments after the curtain comes down. The feeling of victory. But... I don't know. It's difficult to be in that role because you aren't part of the creative team. Something about that really bothers me. And they call the actors "talent." Yes, they're talented at what they do, but so are the 20 other people working on a show. It's just bizarre. There are the people who have seen my writing (not many) and the people who have seen me in a tech role, and they're so different- sometimes I don't think people reconcile the two. I know I don't.

So I wonder if this is what I want to do, or if it's just some attempt to feel part of a community or a group- because Lord knows, I don't have other friends here and I so often have felt on the outskirts of friendship. And at the same time, I don't know how I would function in a "traditional" career. I don't know, it's something I need to think about. Watching Into the Wild doesn't help, it just makes me want to drop out of everything and live in a cave in the Pacific Northwest (sorry, no way am I going to Alaska.)

New Topic.

I had my interview last night for UCLA and it was, in a word, awkward. They couldn't figure out how to work the video camera. But they liked my play, don't ask me why. Rereading it I've decided the thing is total crap, mostly because it's already 2 hours and I barely even go into the characters. Or I judge myself too harshly, I'm not sure.

Anyway, it was nice to get the feedback. They liked that Christopher was dead and still interacted with the other characters, they liked the pacing, they liked the dialogue. They said that they were surprised a 23 year old had such a grasp on the time period and the emotions involved with the Vietnam War. It's not really a Vietnam piece, but the war is there, so I guess that's what they were getting at. They mentioned how they felt dated since this is a "historical piece," and I had to interrupt them (with their permission, of course) and tell them that I didn't consider it a historical piece. Events are cyclical, there are moments and quotes, when researching the play, that I felt could be put into the mouths of people or found in newspapers today. I tried to draw parallels, perhaps unsuccessfully, but they're there.

Anyway, I also found out that one of the teachers knows a friend from high school- once again proving how small the world is.

I rambled, went on tangents, corrected myself and fussed with my hair too much- but whatever. I've gotten into several schools (most recent of which is CalArts) so it's not that big of a deal. And I still have 6 more schools to hear from.

This update is boring, probably because I haven't done anything exciting as of late, but what can you do.

Here are some pictures to make up for that:


are you a delinquent?


Stephen, Bernadette, Mandy. Need I say more?


My new desktop.


I need more street art in my life.


I'm having trouble with #3

Ok, that's it. Perhaps tomorrow I'll go to the Met. I meant to do that today but couldn't muster up the energy. So I'll just get something to eat, work on the play, and perhaps marathon some Six Feet Under. Who knows.

Hi, My name is Katie.

Evidently, when I take pictures, I look like a deer in the headlights.



And an update on the Grad School Front:

Accepted:
The New School- Creative Writing (one of my top choices, with my name put down for the top Merit scholarship)
City College of New York- Creative Writing
CalArts- Creative Writing and Critical Studies


Denied: (it's so much for fun to say than rejected)
The New School- Playwriting


Interview:
UCLA- Playwriting. (x) What an awkward interview

a brief announcement

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST
A Trivial Comedy for Serious People
A new adaptation from the Cardboard Box Theatre Project
Friday, March 26 at 8PM; Saturday, March 27 at 8PM; Sunday, March 28 at 7PM




San Jose, CA — Cardboard Box Theatre Project will present its third production on March 26-28 at WORKS/San Jose in downtown San Jose, CA. Doors open half an hour before showtime (Show 8PM Friday and Saturday; 7PM Sunday). (Concessions available) Tickets: $5 Students, $10 General Admission.

Cardboard Box Theatre Project’s The Importance of Being Earnest takes the theatre company into new territory. CBTP’s first two productions, A Box of Strange and Season’s Greetings, were new works written by company members. This time, CBTP ventures into the second half of its mission to present new works and old works in new ways as director, Maren Lovgren, breathes new life into Oscar Wilde’s infamous work. Playing with the ideas of shifting surfaces and perspectives, the logistics of identity, and British pop culture, Lovgren has created a surrealistic and slapstick vision of this otherwise manner-driven world as only four actors perform the entire work.

The Importance of Being Earnest – In this timelessly witty world where style, not substance, is the rule, Jack Worthing and Algernon Moncrief spend their days concocting alternate identities and fictional friends. But when the town and the country converge and romantic hijinks escalate, both men must discover how to be honestly Earnest.


Join us for an evening of intellectual slapstick with a modern twist as the Cardboard Box Theatre Project presents a seriously silly interpretation of Wilde’s delightfully absurd masterpiece with a cast of four!

The Importance of Being Earnest
Time: Friday, March 26, 2010 8PM (doors 7:30PM)
Saturday, March 27, 2010 8PM (door 7:30PM)
Sunday, March 28, 2010 7PM (doors 6:30PM)

Location: WORKS/San Jose
451 South 1st Street,
San Jose, CA 95113

Price: $5 Student. $10 General. Tickets at the door or by reservation.
To reserve seats email tickets@thecardboardbox.org

P.S. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter!

Today is one of those days where I ask myself, "why the fuck are you in theatre. Are you insane?"
The answer is probably yes, I already know that I need psychiatric help- but that's not the point.

Today was just one of those days. The stars aligned, things went wrong, the shit hit the proverbial fan. After crying for about an hour and a half to my father over the shitstorm of a day, I feel even keel enough to actually describe how it went.

It started with me going to Starbucks and trying to get some editing done. Since I'm getting interviewed by UCLA on Friday, I needed to reread my play. Of course, rereading my play made me wonder what the hell they saw in me. Oh the grammatical errors, or the typos, oh the melodrama. Let's just say that it needs a lot of work.

Anyway, I sat down with my 130 page play and my coffee, ready to do work... only to be distracted by the two men 5 feet away from me talking quite loudly. One of them was my age and was talking about how nervous he was for the show opening earlier tonight, the other was trying to calm him down. Busybody that I am, I listened in. Turns out the nervous guy is one of the new Tribe members for Hair, and was talking about how he was about to go and walk the stage because he was terrified about opening that night. His friend had just been in Ragtime and was trying to tell him that the nervousness would subside and that the show would go great. I of course, was way too invested in this conversation for a normal person, but who cares.

I was then interrupted from eavesdropping by this old man sitting down right next to me. It would have been normal, except for the fact that 5 minutes after he sat down he tapped me on the shoulder and said

"You have a face that's meant to be famous."

My reaction was a "...what?" And he repeated himself.

"You have a famous face. It's a face that stands out."

Flattered and a bit confused, I said thank you and went back to editing.

5 minutes later he interrupted me again, asking me if I was a writer. I told him that, Yes, I do write but that I also am a stage manager. He then launched into a long winded speech about theatre and writing and how his grandson is a lawyer but wants to be a writer.

Then he asked for my email to give his grandson. Fine, I thought. Who cares.

Then, the guy whips out his phone, calls his grandson and makes me talk to him.

It was awkward, the grandson apologized profusely, I laughed it off. Really, it wasn't so much embarrassing as just bizarre. We talked for a bit longer and then at 11:30 I went to rehearsal.

And that's when things got difficult.

In between 5 hours of rehearsal, we were auditioning people. I was running up and down trying to call people. Things were hectic. I didn't eat until 5:00, when I grabbed a sandwich. More auditions.

Got home at 7 pm, beyond exhausted and stressed only to realize that I had to finish a draft of the schedule by 2:00 tomorrow, get a hold of the guy we want to cast, get his bio, find out who's cast as the other character, contact everyone about costuming, contact the costumer about costuming, contact someone about the mess up in the rehearsal schedule, find kelly green gaffers tape, find bright orange cream based makeup, wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life, cry, explode, lie curled in the fetal position on the floor.

And now, it's 8:30 pm. What have I done? I called my therapist to say hi. Then called my dad and cried for an hour about how I'm stressed and don't know anyone and who put the crazy idea in my head to do theatre. I would have called my mom, but I cried at her the other day, so I figured I should switch it up a bit. Needless to say, I think I burst a blood vessel in my eye, but I also have a few more pointers on how to go about finding a psychiatrist and a primary doctor (with or without health insurance) in this great state.

I haven't done anything. I think I'm comatose. I know that when I look at everything i've done in the 5 weeks that I've got here, I should be really proud of myself but I just can't. If I think I'll cry and if I cry I become completely ineffective. Come May, I don't know what I'm going to be doing, but it'll probably involve sleeping for 20 hours a day for a week straight.



Oh and I'm bringing everyone cookies to tomorrow's rehearsal. So that they'll love me and feel guilty when they make my life needlessly difficult.


P.S. I learned today that scotty was sitting one row behind me (but opposite end of the theatre) during Hair. WHAT. I'm going to bug that boy because I miss him. You hear that?

I'm just going to throw it out there, just toss it on out there... My night was better than yours. Well... my late afternoon. Why, may you ask, was my afternoon better than yours?

Maybe because i saw

and you didn't.

And not just HAIR: THE AMERICAN TRIBAL LOVE-ROCK MUSICAL, but the last night that this cast Tribe would be in the States. They're going across the pond and we're getting a new tribe starting on Tuesday.

So I went to the show, and it wasn't just good, it wasn't just pretty damn good, it was FANFUCKINGTASTIC. Excuse my language. I'll start at the beginning.

I bought a ticket yesterday. I figured it would be too difficult to get 1/2 off so I coughed up the money for an Orchestra ticket: Row E Seat 6. Slight Stage Right and all kinds of perfect. I went by myself, I was a bit nervous, but I shouldn't have been. The girl next to me also was there alone. The rest of the replacement Tribe surrounded me, as well as some of the original Tribe members who had left earlier. To my left was Alan Arkin. One of the writers of the show was in the audience and there were a number of other stage and film actors in the audience. And Super Fans. Hardcore superfans.

Anyway, I was in the perfect spot. In hindsight, it would have been even more awesome to be on he aisle, and we all know how I feel about audience participation. But, I can't complain. I was after all 5 rows in and 3 rows from center.

Before the show started you could already feel how excited everyone was. I don't think I've felt that kind of energy in a long, long time. And as soon as the tribe tumbled out onto the stage with "Aquarius" there was a standing ovation. 5 minutes long, I'm guessing. And the entire tribe was crying, a good section of the audience as well. Will Swenson channeled Burger and told us to all shut up, but not before saying "fuck it" when he fumbled his speech. He managed to almost make it through his monologue, giving someone his pants and then asking another well placed person for some change. Conveniently enough, it was a quid. That led a few of the tribe members to start crying again.

We managed to make it through "Donna" and "Hashish" without delay, though as soon as Woof appeared there was another standing ovation. The Tribe cried, I cried, the girl I didn't know who sat next to me cried. It was a crying fest. "Sodomy" was sung, more applause. It was a free-for-all, people were breaking character and just running free. It was amazing. Hud got a standing ovation, that "I'm Black/Colored Spade".

And then Gavin Creel appeared and the entire audience more or less exploded. It didn't help when he sang "Manchester, England" everyone was flipping out. That Union Jack on the seat of Claude's pants was amazingly appropriate. I wonder if this is what the first tribe felt like when they went over to London. I frankly have no idea how they managed to not totally break down (though a few times they did).

Of course, I already love the musical and it holds a special place in my heart because it was the last musical I worked on back home (and before graduating), but it was just so great that the entire audience could more or less sing along. It was just insane.

ANYWAY, Sheila got a standing ovation, and her monologue got some tears. The tribe was more or less on the brink all night, they continued on through to when Claude gets the draft notice and sings "I Got Life." --I'd like to interject here and say that he pointed directly at me when he said "I got life, my daughter." I died a little inside. But in a good way. Especially since I ran smack into Gavin Creel a few weeks ago. I'm going to miss running into cast members. Not like I know them or they know me, but it's just nice to see theatre people moseying all over the place. END TANGENT--

"Going Down" Went over fantastically, which is good because it's one of my favorite songs. And then Margaret Mead appeared, and her husband cried throughout the entire scene. And then they sang "Hair" and I swear, if you could bottle the energy and enthusiasm and emotion that was running through the theatre you would make bank. It was phenomenal.

Will Swenson was amazing during the "yellow shirt" scene. I love the way his hippie has that sort of bridge between what the hippies wanted to be and what they became. Mainly, terrifying speed freaks who would freak out at a moments notice.

When Crissy came out to sing "Frank Mills" she was crying, which made Jeanie cry, which made everyone cry, but it really set up for the Be-In.

The Be-In. It was intense. I was crying because it made me homesick, they were crying because they're leaving, the audience was crying because... probably for a variety of reasons. But when Gavin Creel sang "Where do I go" and the rest of the tribe had this look of loss and sadness on their faces, oh my God.

Intermission was intermission. They're boring. I was all jittery from adrenaline and texting Greg and telling him that we had to go to London and see the cast. I was texting Catherine because her family was in Greenwich. I was texting Hayley and not getting a response. I was texting Nancy and freaking out because she was in the Mezz. The girl who was sitting next to me and I talked about the famous people in the audience and how much we loved the show. I said it was going to be a tough second act, she asked if that meant it was bad. I just said, "No, but everyone's going to cry." And gave her a bunch of my kleenex.

I was prepared, courtesy of Greg.

Act II started with a standing ovation and more tears. the Tribe was totally in tears, the audience was in tears. It was a mess. Anthony Hollock stood next to my aisle and bawled, I really wanted to just give him a pat on the shoulder. Or my kleenex.
"Black Boys/White Boys" Got a standing o and people singing along. At this point the show was probably 20 minutes late, but no one cared.

When Claude arrived everyone cried. Burger hid with Sheila underneath the soviet flag as Sheila cried, and at this point I think half the blocking went to shit. People were just trying to keep it together. "Walking in Space" resulted in tears, especially during the emotional build up towards the end. Of course the bad trip was high emotion, and everyone sung the hell out of it, like they were never going to be doing it again... And they wouldn't be, at least not on that stage. The wake up from the trip was emotional. Claude was crying on the floor as Sheila attempted to sing "Good Morning Starshine." Her voice cracked a few times, which only made the audience cry. The replacement cast was bawling to my left, and Will Swenson was standing SR at the stairs. Of course the girl next to me is crying and I'm bawling because I miss home and everybody and am an emotional sieve. So I'm crying, and look from Sheila to Burger/ Will Swenson who's holding it together quite admirably. And then his lip quivers, which makes me do the whole scrunched-up-face cry, which makes the girl next to me cry really loudly, which makes him full on burst into tears.

Will Swenson crying will break your heart. And it made the rest of the tribe cry. Claude, Burger, and Sheila basically huddled together sobbing while the rest of did the transition. Blocking was shot to hell, lines were fucked up ("Fucking snow" became some incomprehensible garble). Of course the line about New York and the snow really hit hard because of the recent snow storms, leading everyone to cry even more.

And then "Manchester, England/ Eyes Look your Last" aka Claude dies. And everyone lost it. And when he appeared, invisible, and Will Swenson was in tears. Oh my God. The audience was silent. People weren't so much in character as just trying to keep some semblance of composure.

When they sang "The flesh Failures/ Let the Sun Shine In" I was just a mess. The tribe was a mess. But it was absolutely beautiful. I don't think I've ever been in an audience or worked on a show where there was so much support and love coming out of an audience. And when they left the stage, with Claude lying there and the snow falling, the audience remained silent.


And then curtain call.
Oh My God. I think I've lost my voice. My hands are numb. It was insane, the enthusiasm and the amount of cheering that everyone did. The stage was packed, with actors and friends and families and supporting audience members. They had to shut down the stage but everyone was in the aisles singing along.



They didn't do a closing speech, but the crew all came out and people were hugging and crying, throwing flowers into the audience and on stage. I don't think anyone would have been able to formulate a speech to save their lives.

And then I bought $50 worth of stuff, because why not.

I didn't wait around for the cast to sign stuff, and from what I hear- 2 hours later and they were still out there. The line was insane.



***
This entry went from coherent to rambling in 2 seconds flat, but I don't care. And if you couldn't tell, I flipped between cast members names and the character's names like nobodies business.


PEACE OUT




Edit: Reading all the grammatical mistakes after the fact is only mildly embarrassing; however, I'll just blame adrenaline and enthusiasm and leave it at that. no editing/corrections shall be made to this entry.

P.S. I'm seeing HAIR tomorrow. I even paid full price for the ticket.
P.S.S. Our Lysander and Demetrius got in a water gun fight in the middle or reading Act III this afternoon. It was glorious

It's just one of those days. Weeks. Months...Fill in the blanks.

Today has been a bad day. Outside of getting into grad school (which should overshadow everything... but hasn't), this week has been a Bad week. Capitalized, italicized, bad week.

I was supposed to see Hair tonight, but I don't think I can go. The way things are turning out, there's so much drama going on with my show that there's a good chance that either I will mess something up or some other catastrophe will strike... So I'm saying no. I can't go. I want to go, lord knows it's the only thing that I've been looking forward to since moving out here, but no.

But this made me happy:

Harrison Ford was filming across the street...During a snowstorm.



Lo came to visit, and for that day and a half before I got sick...It was a lot of fun!

Setting up a new exhibit at the MOMA

Then frolicking through Central Park











AND MY AWESOME NEW SHIRT (brought to you by my sick self)

One of my favorite blogs has changed urls

niotillfem

Check it out! It's in Swedish, but you can translate through google translator.


And 4 Other blogs/websites, just for the Hell of it:
* Cannelle et Vanille for all your delicious foody needs.

* BlueBird Vintage mostly because I love her stuff

* Apartment Therapy -Self explanatory

* Design Sponge - Everything from Design to diy

2010 Celluloid Ceiling Report: no progress in a generation

Julie Taymor, Zoe Cassavetes, Sofia Coppola, Mira Nair, and Jane Campion.

HOLLYWOOD — Kathryn Bigelow will make Oscars history on Sunday if she becomes the first woman filmmaker to be crowned best director in the 82-year history of the Academy Awards.

But Bigelow's expected victory for her Iraq War drama "The Hurt Locker" masks a startling gender imbalance within the movie industry that researchers have dubbed the "Celluloid Ceiling."


Bigelow, 58, is one of only four women to be nominated for the best director prize, following Lina Wertmüller for "Seven Beauties" in 1976, Jane Campion for "The Piano" in 1993; and Sofia Coppola for "Lost in Translation" in 2003.

The paucity of female filmmakers to earn recognition at the Oscars reflects an industry-wide trend, according to Martha Lauzen, head of the Center for the Study of Women In Television and Film at San Diego State University.

Lauzen's annual report on women in the movie industry recently revealed that of the top 250 highest grossing films in North America in 2009, only seven percent were directed by women, a drop of two percent from a year earlier. (This is the same number as in 1987. Read the 2010 stats here.)

The imbalance is also reflected in other areas of the movie business. In 2009 only eight percent of credited writers on the top 250 films were female. Lauzen says much of Hollywood is in denial about the issue of women in film.

"One of the reasons is that there is a lot of denial regarding women's current place in the movie business," she told AFP.

"I've heard editors of major trade publications as well as the heads of studios simply say there is no problem.

"They'll either say no celluloid ceiling exists or they'll rattle off four or five names of high profile directors who happen to be women and then with a shrug say 'See -- there's no problem.' Well that's incredibly misleading.

"Just because you can name four or five women directors doesn't mean no problem exists. If you don't think there's any problem then you're not going to be looking for a solution. And that perpetuates the status quo."

Lauzen is cautious about what Bigelow's likely success on Sunday will mean. "I think it will give a lot of attention to the issue in the short term, which is welcome," she said. "But we have to have realistic expectations of what the very well-deserved accomplishments of a single woman mean.

"Attitudes about gender are very entrenched and when they change they change very slowly. So I think this could go down a couple of different ways.

"If Kathryn Bigelow wins, media stories could talk about how everything has changed now and that women are equal. And that would be unfortunate."

Bigelow, who has already made history this year by becoming the first woman to win the Directors Guild of America's top honor, has downplayed the significance of her gender during the award season campaign trail.

However after claiming the directing prize at the BAFTA awards in London last month -- again the first woman to do so -- she referred to the "constant struggle" faced by women in the industry.

" ... so if this can be a beacon of light, then, wonderful," she said.

Ironically, Bigelow has forged her reputation through a series of films notable for their overt masculinity, whether it's the slick 1991 action film "Point Break," the tense Cold War-era nuclear submarine drama "K-19: The Widowmaker" or her nail-biting Oscar contender "The Hurt Locker."

Jeremy Renner, the Oscar-nominated star of "The Hurt Locker," scoffed at suggestions that Bigelow's apparent preference for testosterone-fueled movies was unusual.

"What does having a set of ovaries have to do with directing a film?" Renner told CBS television's 60 Minutes. "It's through her eyes that she sees, not through her mammaries or anything else."

Bigelow's ex-husband James Cameron, who is nominated for best director for his science fiction blockbuster "Avatar," said he believed his former spouse was fascinated by "war and conflict."

"I think she also takes pride in the fact that she can out-gun the guys -- that just in terms of pure technique, pure game, she's got more game than most of the male directors out there," Cameron said.

It's an extension of the glass ceiling. It's amazing how so few seem to realize or accept that the entertainment industry is just as sexist if not more than other industries. And this isn't even counting the cinematographers, editors, Assistant Directors... All the other behind the scenes jobs that boast a very high male:female ratio. The fact that people blow it off as being of lesser importance than other feminist issues, is insane. The entertainment industry is astoundingly influential in the way our culture is defined and the way we, as people, relate to one another. The fact that women are still considered a niche audience, despite being over 50% of the population stands to prove how skewed and sexist the industry is. And by saying "oh it's not a big deal, there are bigger issues at hand," allows the cycle to continue. /soapbox

So that cryptic email yesterday?

Oh, it just meant that i got into The New School Creative Writing MFA Program. According to the Assistant Director, my writing is a ~delight!, and that they've also put me on the list for the highest paying merit scholarship.


WHAT?
I CAN WRITE?
WHO ARE THESE SILLY PEOPLE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE!?


oh and UCLA just called because they want to schedule an interview.

That said, every single day I'm messing up something. I don't know what's wrong with me, if it isn't scheduling, it's giving out the wrong cell number. What's wrong with me? Why am I so out of sorts. I want to be professional, but this is just insanity.

I don't know if it's because I'm sick, or in a new place, or what- but half the mistakes I'm making are stupid and shouldn't even be happening. It's good that I have Thursday and Friday off. Hopefully, I'll regroup and regain some sense of control on the world. I feel like everything's spinning completely out of control.


But hey, at least I've got something to do with myself for the next 2 years.

I'm incredibly sick, with a stomach flu or something, so I'll keep this short.
Loretta got in Friday night, and it was fantastic. We stayed up late chatting and the next day she wandered about while I went to work. Then we got lunch at the MOMA (always fun) and walked around Central Park. Ended up going out that night with Rachel and seeing an awesome live show and playing darts. It was my first real time out in the city, and of course the next day I got sick.

At first I assumed it was a hangover, I get them easily enough, but they usually start strong and leave just as quickly... So when it was 6 pm and I started feeling worse, I got a bit suspicious.

By Monday morning, I was a complete wreck. Nauseous and dizzy, I felt jittery and like my skin was on fire. (Read: stomach flu?) I felt bad enough that I couldn't go and hang out with Loretta, but combine that with my own scheduling snafu that messes up Thursday's rehearsal? I was a mess. I ended up crashing in bed for more or less 15 hours while Loretta watched Mrs. Henderson Presents.

Of course, with all this I've been freaking out over messing up the schedule. I like to be on top of it all, pride myself on it, but here I am making a mess of things. Maybe because I'm sick, but I feel like I'm chasing to keep up with a car that's speeding away from me, so I'm going to try and get better grounded on the show and everything. The director accepted my apology, though whether it's because I haven't eaten in 3 days and look horrific or if it's because I looked like I was about to cry- I'm not sure.

Anyway, now I'm drinking tea and getting caught up on everything. I have a bunch of work to do, and Loretta's now on her way home, and even though I'm tired I know I need to get some stuff sorted out.

Oh and I got a really cryptic email from The New School's Graduate Program for Creative Writing.

Dear Applicant to The New School's Graduate Writing Program,

We are writing with what we hope will turn out to be good news! Could you--at your earliest convenience--call Jackson Taylor in the writing
program office. We are here from Monday to Thursday from 2 to 6 PM.

Many thanks,


What a cheeky email. I say.

Will update photos in a day or two.