I was supposed to have a week off, but I'm meeting my next boss/Artistic Director tomorrow :(

I mean, I guess I'm happy- I'm just so tired. Tonight is the first time in ages I've had a full day to myself. I tried to write, but failed horribly and ended up beginning the clean up of my room. Turns out being a stage manager and breaking my chest of drawers sure does a number on my state of habitation.

On a completely different note, here's a picture of (part of) our set. The forest scene to be exact.


Too bad you can't see the lighting, or the pre-forest scene. We had a throne and wallpaper, etc. The lighting was kick ass, especially considering that a Broadway Lighting Designer did it.

The show is over!

Huzzah. I'm so tired. Today is my day to just sit around and do nothing. At least until 7, when I have to go see Love's Labours Lost at the same theatre where Midsummer was being performed. It doesn't help that afterwards there's a cast party for all of them and I'm supposed to go to that as well. I would say that it's totally not a bad thing, except I don't really know the cast...so....luckily they all seem pretty nice. Last night we closed, managed to accomplish striking everything within an hour without any major casualties and then proceeded to the Irish Rogue on 44th and 8th.

We were at the Rogue until 3 am. Then 5 of us went to a place that was within walking distance form my apartment (yay) where we stayed until 5 AM. FIVE IN THE MORNING. I woke up at 9 and couldn't go back to sleep so I'm starting to fade right about now.

All in all the show went alright. I have some issues with several of the technical choices, last night's crowd was overflowing onto the stage, but the energy was great. I get to spend tonight's show up in the booth since it's a) more comfortable and b) I don't have to pay quite as much attention. And I left my book and chocolates someone gave me up there so I can entertain myself since I absolutely HATE that Shakespeare play.

After that I'm going to try and set up my appointments with the new Artistic Director. I potentially had another concurrent job as a Stage Manager for The Little Mermaid, but the time was just too difficult to maneuver. I'm a bit bummed, I would have received $800... if I had gotten it that is.

tl;dr I WANT MONEY AND A NAP.

But my grandma's coming in two weeks! And I'm seeing Hayley and Maren in... 4 or 5 weeks when I go up to Boston for a few days. Brittany in June, and I'm house sitting during part of July so... yeah, that's what I'm up to.

I haven't been posting that much. This is mostly because A) I'm really freaking busy, B) my family was visiting last week, and C)like I said, I have a show opening this weekend, fools.

So I'm busy. Last week was the emotional week from Hell, and this week is... I don't even know. It's resignation. Somehow, I'm less stressed. I know that will change by Thursday, but at the moment my default position is *arms thrown up in the air* and a "Whatever, I'm not on stage."

That said, this isn't like I want to hit a wrong key and plunge the actors into darkness. Or the damn sound cues, which are always either too loud or too soft, too quick or never ending. I want my damn goldilocks cues. I'm actually not that worried. I'm in my booth- more like a bunker, and I'm relatively safe. Granted, I don't even have a full run under my belt yet.

It helps that our lightening designer is phenomenal. He lit the concert/Central Park version of Hair before it returned to Broadway. He's lit shows all over the world and hasn't had a day off in over a year. He's also really cool, a great teacher, and in general someone you want to hang around with. It's like I've found my tech person...too bad tomorrow is his last day. Anyway, the actors are nice, and they try...though I need to give them some more guidance about the importance of setting their own props.

And some people need to learn to read their rehearsal schedules. Stage Manager Suggestion #1: If you want to be your SM's best friend, read and respect the schedule. It is your God during the rehearsal process. Build a shrine to it, pray to it daily, and never never flout the rule of the schedule. The quickest way to get on a Stage Manager's shit list? To ignore the rehearsal schedule that I sent you OVER TWO WEEKS AGO and then schedule work during our last run thru. We aren't even in the theatre, so it's not like your being absent personally affects me. It's a run thru with the sole purpose of helping your cast members, so that's who's you're really fucking with.

Personally, I don't care.

But I do want to see Kick Ass.


TL;DR if I'm not around much until Tuesday the 27th. It's because I (don't) have a life.

3 things

1. My family is here. I'm staying at the hotel with them, and this makes me very happy.

2. I'm so stressed out by my show that I've cried every single day. And I don't mean a single tear, but full on freak-out crying fits. I'm just exhausted and tired of 10 hour days. At least I like the people though. But my mental health is taking a beating and a half, it's like every single tiny space in my brain has been inundated with stress, anxiety, and a sense of nausea. I'm not even worried about the show, i just need it over. Now.


3. I saw Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson tonight. There were some flaws, but in general I really liked it. The set was fantastic, the lighting- gorgeous, the singing was pretty good... it could be improved at times, but a lot of that was stylistic choice and nothing more.

The story is well executed, it's funny, and makes sense. It was just missing something... but not enough for me to dislike it. Maybe I just wanted one more song, or a reprise, I'm not sure. But I still loved the way it was performed, definitely reminded me that there is a reason that I love theatre, not merely tolerate it (as I have begun to feel). My mom also seems to really like the concept of Dramaturg, and likes pointing out all the people in the cast and crew who went to Tisch.

I'm exhausted and dreading rehearsal from 9 am- 8 pm tomorrow (including a meeting). It's really frustrating when you don't want to go to sleep because that would mean waking up and dealing with tomorrow, but being so tired all you want to do is sleep for a month.

And my director wants me to house/pet sit for a month in June/July. I'm down, her cat is adorable, her apartment is quiet and cool. I'll get some writing down, though I'll have to commute from Brooklyn to Penn Station to do work. It's only 25 minutes or so.

My family's coming! I better not wear any makeup, because I'll probably cry. And the hotel has wifi, so I can stay over there without worrying that about rehearsal/cast shenanigans!

But first, 6 hours of rehearsal.

I haven't had a particularly good day, but this gif makes everything infinitely better.

THAT IS ALL.

Because I don't feel like typing out paragraphs.

* Rehearsal from 9-2. Trains were completely out of sync so it took an hour to make a 25 minute trip.

* Played with face paint, figured out costumes, drank coffee, read lines, stood in for a missing actor, and had to make awkward giggling/moaning noises into a tape recorder with 5 of the actors.

* After rehearsal had to subway it up from Brooklyn to midtown. It took an hour and a half. Dropped off my check at the post office for Tisch (will be sending an email on Monday to confirm that it arrived. After that, I'll go through the process of sending off the rejection emails to Hunter, CalArts, The New School, and UCLA) then speed walked 15 blocks to the theatre to drop off the poster.

* Raced back to try and find a hotel in the West Village, only to realize that I should have been in the East Village. Gave up and went back to the apartment and google mapped it.

*Fell down the last flight of stairs leaving the apartment. Landed on the edge of the marble and blacked out. I now have lovely bruises on my upper back, lower back, thighs, and left arm. I did, however, manage to protect my head from the fall.

* Fought through several pub crawls and saturday revelers to get to the East Village and pick up tickets for my Director.

* Came home. Sent off emails.

* Ate food. Discovered that our TV Guide/On Demand is broken. Watched Almost Famous on DVD player instead.



* Contemplated a shower. Contemplated typing up my script so that I can put all the cues in it. Did neither. Instead pulled my mattress off of my lofted bed and shoved it onto the ground. When I'm stressed, I can't sleep in normal places. Senior Year, I spent 2/3rds of it on the couch. I've slept the last 2 nights on my floor.

I live an awkward yet boring life.

Got Anxiety?

It's about 4:30 am on a saturday. No I haven't been out having a grand old time. I was actually asleep up until an hour ago. I fell asleep at around 11:30 but woke up to an anxiety attack, completely freaking out over the show.

So since then, I've been awake. I went through and looked at all the rehearsal blocking days we have (we have less than a week to block this show), and Jesus Christ. I don't know how we're going to do it all. We might be able to, but I have to meet with my Director early to warn her that we can have any downtime for the rest of this. I also don't know how we're going to be able to load in when another show is going up. Testing the set and everything is fine, but the lights? I'm not sure how we're going to do that. That's another thing I have to talk with Katrin about this afternoon. I also typed up the props and everything we need, and begin compiling headshots. I'm going to finish that this afternoon after I get done with everything else, including going from Brooklyn to midtown, to the LES and then back to greenwich village.


And I'm panicking because NYU needs to have my deposit by the 15th and I haven't sent it off yet. I'm going to try and do next day delivery at the Penn Station post office sine it's only a few blocks from where I'm going to be today. I just want everything to work out, I'm flipping out, and I haven't had time to sit and think and send off this stuff. I should have gotten everything under control last week, but I didn't. And now it's biting me in the ass. I wonder if I can drop it off at the school? It's only a few blocks away, though I doubt the admissions building is open on saturday. The letter won't even get there until Monday anyway, so I could just go in during the morning and hand it directly to the Admissions department. I have their address. I have their email and phone number, maybe I'll give them a call during a 10 minute break in rehearsal.


I need redbull.
And I am not looking forward to running a multitude of sound and light cues at the same time, with two different boards, all by myself. I might see if I could get Joan to help, but who knows. I would love it if she would run lights and I could run sound or vice versa. It would just make things so much easier.


I'm pretty certain that hardly any of this is coherent, but what can I say. It's 4:30 am and I'm about to try to go back to sleep because I need to wake up at 6:45 at the latest.

spoilers

I was at rehearsal/ meetings for 10 hours yesterday. Today should be more like a 9-hour day. hopefully I'll be back around 8 pm. That doesn't count the fact that I've been up since 7:30 am sending emails, working on publicity packets and getting props.

I am so incredibly tired already, and I don't have a day off until April 27th. Luckily, that's less than 3 weeks. I can make it through 3 weeks, right? Right? Ignoring all the meetings and the fact that I need to go and work cue to cues on my own, my family visiting, and production meetings for the next show.

On the bright side, I enjoy all the tech people and my director. If I could just hang out with them and ignore the actors, I'd be good (even though the actors are still great...sometimes). They just don't seem to understand that they have rehearsal twice a week. I have rehearsal every single day.

I think it's time to start buying redbull. And at least Saturday's rehearsal is a morning rehearsal so I'll be done at 2. Not that it helps much without a day off. I just hope I don't have a meeting every night next week, so that I can at least see my family once in a while. I don't even know if I'll be able to stay with them since I need to be in contact with my computer/email at pretty much all times and being a stage manager demands CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

I'm too delicate for this job. Too bad I have no other skills.

Random topics

It's supposed to be 85 degrees today. Insanity. I'm hoping to get as much stuff done as possible so that I can go and sit in the sun for a bit before going to rehearsal. Yesterday I was there from 12- 6:30.

But it was a good day. I have to remind myself that it's only a few more weeks and that the director and the cast are great. I met the lighting designer, and he's fantastic also. From the Bay Area and we were talking about all the places we've traveled that remind us of San Francisco.

Him: Zurich, Seattle, Melbourne
Me: Buenos Aires, Dublin, parts of London (Notting Hill)

We also talked about going to grad school here and how he met his wife 4 months after arriving.

I have rehearsal from 1:30-6 tonight, followed by a meeting with the set designer and then the costume designer. I'm trying to get all of these meetings out of the way because a) we have 16 rehearsals until the show and b)my family is coming next week and I want to at least have some time to stay with them.

And several people will be pleased to hear that I'm going to go and drop off my deposit today for NYU. I talked about it with the cast last night, especially Lysander who majored in Creative Writing and Dramatic Writing undergrad. He asked me if I was going to sell my soul (read: screenwriting) and I argued that maybe I'd be able to do both. He said it wasn't possible. I said that I chose not to believe him since he just had surgery and was under the affects of Vicodin.*

So yesterday was a good day in theatreland. I'm not sure about today, or tomorrow or the rest of this. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. Why do I always forget about all the stress and hate I harbor towards the rehearsal process when I'm not working on a show? I'm like the kid who doesn't learn that Fire Burns, and to step away from the open flame.

I guess that's it for now.
Let's see how I'm feeling later tonight.


P.S. I really want to see Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. Why am I broke!? Maybe I'll see if my family wants to see it...


*It's really entertaining to see someone recite Shakespeare doped up. Not so much when you know it's because they had surgery on their wrist.


EDIT: Operation Get Family To Go See A Musical With Me is a success. Will be seeing Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson sometime next week! Huzzah! Viva El Presidente!

This is my last day of freedom before back to rehearsal/the show closes at the end of April.

And what do I get to do? Wait around for boxes of gaffers tape...Kelly Green gaffers tape, to arrive. I do not want to be waiting inside for a delivery of tape. I want to be outside, reading my book written by a Tibetan Buddhist Monk about the secret to happiness. Because I am obviously not happy sitting around here, having an anxiety attack every time I refresh my work email because God Forbid something else happens.
The anxiety feels like an elephant is hiding inside my chest. I don't think a job should make me feel this way.

Because my friends and family live 5,000 miles away, my Easter consisted of Hari Krishnas, sunburned kneecaps, and spending 2 hours in Barnes and Noble.

How was yours?

P.S. I love This Blog. When I grow up, can I be as funny as her?


UPDATE: My Twitter. Because I'm awesome. And I recently made it public.

Union Square Pillow Fight- International PillowFight Day 2010