Tuesday, November 17, 2009

If there's one thing I hate more than acid wash jeans, or bizarro leopard print (except when worn in an ironic fashion... but is leopard print really ever ironic? I think not), it's Nylon's attempt to bring back Southwestern chic.

It makes me want to vomit.

I thought I had met my match when my roommate decided to wear an awful zebra print dress with turquoise boots. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

Who decided this was a good idea? I want names, people. I want names and I want to write to them and say, "How dare you Sir and/or Madam. How dare you."

Now, I get it. I love hipster shit. I love me some leggings, some thigh high knit stockings, some ridiculously pouffy skirt that belongs more in the 50s than today. I love my dayglo makeup, my cat eyes, my bright red hair. I love my tattoos and my Arcade Fire, my Jenny Owens Young and my kitschy Etsy artists.

I do not love this fashion trend.
I judge everyone who adopts this fashion trend.
I will judge you harsher than if you were that soulless SOB who decided the revival of MC Hammer pants were a good idea (shame on you!)

Just look at it, people. Look.

blurry, for your viewing pleasure

No. I don't want to see this anywhere but in an Art history, History, Art, whatever sort of museum, I'm not picky. I'll look at it on your wall, a traditional print or blanket. I'll perhaps let it slide if you live in the actual Southwest. Actually, I'll definitely let it slide, go ahead wear it. I'll still hate it, but at least it makes a bit more sense than the people in Los Angeles, Portland, Brooklyn.
This is like those kids in my high school who thought they were cowboys.
Newsflash: you aren't, you never will be. Take off those cowboy boots, denim on denim is for tools, and stop chewing that tobacco.

You may say, "But Katie, this is fashion. There's influence and inspiration, and all that jazz."
Stop it.
No.
And I have seen some good pieces, few and far between, and definitely not enough to counteract the rest of this... whatever.*


And if I see a bolo tie, anywhere but on old men who don't know any better, I'm going to nuke the fashion world.


*Like that yellow dress? That's the difference between inspiration and inspiration. They took the southwestern style and reinvented it, not just produced it in a new form as a mini or a jacket with shoulder pads.
So there are exceptions to be the rule, as always, but an exception does not a fashion trend make.
And those boots are more Fall 2006 Boho than Southwestern.

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